Encouragement for Working Moms

As my due date comes closer and closer, I've been struggling with the thought of returning to work once my maternity leave ends. I love my job, and I'm a little afraid to walk away for three months while we embark on this incredibly new chapter in life. However, the idea of leaving my little one for 8-9 hours each day is already giving me anxiety. I have never envisioned myself as a stay-at-home mom, but I'm already feeling guilt about returning to work.

What's up with that?

I recently came across two blog posts that have been so encouraging about "working mom guilt."

Grace for the working mother and her guilt by Lisa-Jo Baker. I forget how I came across this post, but it really struck a chord with me. I am not a bad mother because I'm returning to work outside of the home. I'm doing what is necessary for our family: providing an income to feed, clothe, and keep our little one secure. "Gritty, committed, and determined to do what is necessary."

Working mom guilt by The MOB Society. I had originally posted Lisa-Jo's on my personal Facebook page, which led a dear friend to direct me to this post. It is very similar in tone and encouragement, but it went a little further to speak to me. I had never thought of this perspective on being a working mom: "It is not God’s will for women to stay home with their children any more than it is God’s will for women to work outside the home — what is God’s will is that in everything, without grumbling or complaining, we do it all for Him."

At the end of the day, I want our daughter to know that Mommy and Daddy do what we do for her and our family. And if that means both of us have to work, so be it. Husband and I have discussed the potential for one of us to stay home for a bit, and while the opportunity isn't off the table, it's more than likely that we'll both continue to work. But only time and God will tell us what is best, and I will continue to lean on faith to guide us through these new waters.

The big 2-8!

Today is my 28th birthday.

Credit: Shardayyy via Flickr

This has been the fastest year of adulthood for me. I feel like I just celebrated my 27th birthday a few weeks ago. But while it's been fast, it's been a wonderful year!

I'm halfway through my Master's degree. We purchased a second car after being a one-car family for five years. We moved into a larger apartment. We have been in good health. And, of course, the biggest news of all, we're expecting our daughter to arrive in 89 days. I've been blessed with an almost complication-free pregnancy, and the experience of pregnancy has been surreal and memorable all at once.

My birthday celebration is low-key. My mom is visiting, and she's planning on making her amazing lasagna as a birthday gift. I'm content to spending an evening at home with my family and a delicious meal. It doesn't get much better.

I'm thankful to have another year on this beautiful Earth, and I'm really excited for this next year. 

Big News!

Remember when I alluded to something pretty big back in July?

The cat's been out of the bag now for a few weeks (and by out of the bag, I mean we made sure everyone and their mother knew): We are expecting!

As I write this, I am 24 weeks pregnant with our daughter-to-be. Our little lady is scheduled to arrive in February. I'm excited, terrified, stressed, overwhelmed, and all-of-the-above in the emotions department.

This year (meaning 2013) has been a year for my husband and I to really let go and let God. As we have grown in our faith, we have really started to let our controlling natures go and put our trust in the Lord. It scares both of us because at our hearts, we are both planners and control freaks (although I take it to more extremes).

We purchased another vehicle earlier in the year (April), well before knowing that we would become parents in the immediate future. We celebrated six years of marriage (May). We found out we were expecting (June). We moved to accommodate our growing family (July). Of course, our focus now is preparing to go from a family of two to a family of three. We are feeling so incredibly blessed by these big life changes, and while the changes can be scary, we're embracing these new paths with the knowledge that God is right there at every step of the way.

Credit: superelahstic on tumblr

So that's the big news. I'm feeling energized to get things going around here; if nothing else, for a way to get lots of pregnancy thoughts out into the blogosphere. Pregnancy has made me crazy, and I know I can't be the only mama-to-be who feels like she's losing her mind.

Here's to life changes, big and small. My prayer is that we can handle it all.

(Like my sweet rhyme? Admit it, you do.)

Participation, Not Passivity

Wednesday was my Grannie's birthday... and I completely forgot about it.

She would have been 88. She passed away in 2011 after a long struggle with dementia. Her death was the first passing I felt both sadness and relief. She really wasn't Grannie for the last two years of her life. I admit, I struggled to visit her in that time because she didn't know who I was. The last time I saw her before her passing, she didn't remember my mom (Grannie's first child). That was so incredibly painful for my mom, but she was so faithful in being with Grannie on a regular basis until she was called to heaven. I will always admire that about my mom.

But I forgot her birthday. I remembered her birthday last year. My mom and I reminisced about Grannie on that day. This year? My mom and I talked repeatedly that day without mentioning Grannie. Did my mom forget? Or was it just too painful for her to bring up?

My original intention for this blog was to highlight the good stuff in life that I let just pass me by. There is no one subject I stick with because my life is incredibly full with so many wonderful things. I'm ashamed that I forgot my Grannie's birthday (side note: My dad passed away in 2009, and I continue to celebrate his birthday every year.). However, I will never forget my Grannie and the amazing memories I have of her.

My first and middle names just happen to be Grannie's first and middle names. When I was younger, she would tell me I was her favorite grandchild. She was always slipping me little presents and dollar bills when she came over. She was the one grandparent who was consistently part of my life. She had style that, I believe, only women born in the 1920s and 1930s can pull off successfully. She was beautiful, funny, loving, and so passionate about everything she was involved with. Grannie was awesome.

Our family has lost many members in the past few years. My dad passed in 2009. Grannie passed in 2011. One of Richie's "grandmothers" (not blood) passed in 2011, too. My dad's sister lost her husband in 2012. One of my uncles passed this past December. Let's be honest: It sucks. But gosh, the beautiful memories we have are something to be treasured. While I will treasure those memories, I will continue to make an effort to treasure each day that is given to me. If you're reading this, look at the blessings that surround you and give thanks.

In a recent sermon at church, our pastor was brutally honest with us. He reminded us that we are only here on this earth for just a blip of time. Our time is incredibly limited. Do we want to spend it in a rush, or do we want to slow down and savor? I'm rambling here, but slowing down is something I regularly struggle with. I like to stay busy and productive. However, I miss so much of the good around me. And I missed my Grannie's birthday. I won't beat myself over that, but it was a clear reminder that I am not taking the time to absorb all the blessings around me.

Participation in life, not passivity, is what it's all about.

Being an Aunt

I am a very proud aunt to a beautiful 7-year-old. My niece is the moon and stars to my universe. I became an aunt at 20, but I had wanted to be an aunt since my brother and sister-in-law got married when I was 11. When their little girl was born, I felt a love like I had never felt before. I don't care how crazy that sounds as an aunt... this girl has my heart.

It boggles my mind that she is almost finished with first grade. She's a little person with an incredible personality. She's smart, she's funny, and she doesn't take kindly to someone pulling the wool over her eyes. She adores animals and dinosaurs. And she knows how to make a person smile.

I don't see this little lady often, and that makes me sad. My family lives 10 hours away. When I have the opportunity to talk to her on the phone, I try to keep her talking for as long as possible. I love hearing about her day, what book she read, or what new game she got for her 3DS.

Since we don't see each other often, our phone conversations always end with an "I love you" and a kiss sent through the phone. It's our thing. In a recent conversation, we went through our usual ending, but this little brainiac beauty added one more thing:

"I'm sending you a hug through the phone. Can you feel it?"

You better believe I felt that hug.