NaBloPoMo: Fifteen

Prompt fifteen: Do you feel pressure to be perfect? How much of it is tied to what you see online?

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I think I hate it more than love it.

I'm totally guilty of comparing myself to what I see on my news feed. I know that most of what I see is only the positive in someone's life because no one wants to read about all the negative. But dang, some people make their lives look so good. And while I don't know what goes on behind-the-screen, I fail to remember this and start examining my own life against someone else's life. Totally unhealthy, I know.

I can't say that I feel pressure to be perfect, but when I start comparing my life to the lives of others, I start to get very critical about my life. I wonder why my living room can't look like hers. I think why can't I make my hair look that pretty. I second guess my life decisions when someone else is doing "better." I ruthlessly judge myself.

Consider it a victory that I recognize this behavior. Every few months I'll lament to my husband that I need to rid myself of my Facebook account. Why do I stick around Facebook? Because it's an opportunity to stay in-the-loop with friends who I may only see once every few years. I do my best to limit my activity on there because I can recognize the signs that I'm getting sucked in to all the status updates and new photo albums that friends post. I find myself a heck of a lot happier when I remove myself from checking my news feed for a few days. If I can continue to stay away and keep my use of Facebook in check, I'd like to think I'll stop being so hard on myself.

We are all are own worst critics, aren't we?